Better Life Magazine

Each one of us is unique individual, and each one us (our companion and we) has his own personality, characteristically, styl and temperament. At the same way, we have our own preferences for the characteristics of our companion that we want to see also for which we feel comfortably.
We tend to overlook the small deteriorations (taxes) these subjects in the beginning of relation. They appear so much small compared to the beautiful sentiments that we have in other sectors of our friendship. Often we suppose that the affection will find way to conquer. Each one however of these subjects is as a hjono'mpala in top of hill, small and insignificant in the beginning, but when it leads to the pa'to, it has become much bigger.
After certain years of marriage, what began as small nuisance, has become big concern.
The persons are often bothered when the other try to them they change, specifically when they are not convinced that such something needs or that it is right. What in the beginning appearred a easy adaptation in the habits of other, results a conflict of forces. The other individual feeling that he is not loved and does not become acceptable as he is, will feel that he has been rejected and it will be hurt or cymw'sej. The result will be misunderstandings, categories, increasing ehcrjko'tita and entire rupture of useful communication.
The good news is that this it can be avoided.
Of course here exist a lot of subjects that should be taken into consideration. We have right we wait for from our companion it makes certain changes? If the answer is "yes", then how can these handle, without we hurt or we vex our companion? If the answer is "no", how we handled the disappointment, the nuisance and our concern?
It right is we wish the change? It depends from why the change is desirable and the nature of this. If we came in embarrassment from the tendency of our companion to be "the centre of company", it should we think the situation rightly. We are simply different from our taj'rj and enjoy the things with different ways? If the behavior of our companion is akj'ndyni, really necessary the is change? It can we were bothered when the taj'rj to us leaves open the toothpaste. However nevertheless, this is something akj'ndyno and perhaps it should we are more anektjkoj' and receptive in more less situations as this. Will exist a lot of subjects as this, which simply ask better comprehension and his more acceptance of one from the other.
The key here is that does not exist subject of change, when does not take place some villain. We require ahrej'astes changes, it can bring up negatively feelings and mploka'rej the street of realisation of important changes in other subjects of marital happiness and growth.
However, what becomes with the concerns that can't become bearable or acceptable even if have become real efforts? What happens with the subjects that threaten they become harmful? As we take zi'lja for example. Can a companion be so much zilja'ris/a that becomes very possessive and distrustful. These thoughts and the feelings will become a big concern for our taj'rj. If they do not negotiate certain changes, this will harm the marriage and it will threaten his future.
Exist seven steps you make also faculties to learn in this process. It should they are comprehended, they become acceptable and they are placed in application and by the two parts.
Each one of us is her unique individual with his/
characteristically, the personality and styl. You are accepted and you are adapted in them it is the key for a achieved marriage.

1. Him you make with attention, you affection and you show sensitivity to your taj'rj avoiding the anger and the malice.
2. You are sincere and open, than to you deny what feels and believes. The sincerity does not need it is expressed with anger. The discretion is more important than the hard wmi' sincerity.
3. You focus in what you believe and feel, with regard to the behavior that you worries. Epjtj'ce-ste in the individual. Remain in the expression of your opinion with regard to the activity or behavior that you bothers. Deal with the subject in question - you do not accuse the individual.
4. You hear and comprehend the reaction of your companion. You "you caused" the comments, on this you hear what has says your companion for this. Have "open" brain, elasticity, and you are ready to discuss and to make certain reprocesses.

1. You hear and you try to occupy what says your companion. Be assembled in the subject.
2. When you are sure that you comprehend completely the ce'ya you express your own opinion and reaction, with affection and sensitivity for your companion.
3. You remember, that your companion, you appreciates enough in order to she wants they are brought down that obstacles exists ana'mesa you.

Exists below a exercise that you will help if you want to make certain changes.

Step 1 In above half titled:
CHANGES THAT I BELIEVE THAT IT SHOULD I MAKE, you record 2 or 3 changes that believe that it should ka'ne|e so that you become better companion in the marriage. (Perhaps you prefer you begin with one only subject.)

Step 2 In under half titled:
CHANGES THAT I NEED IN MY COMPANION, you record 2 or 3 changes that you believe that your taj'rj should make so that becomes better companion. (Perhaps you prefer you begin with one only subject.)

Step 3 When you have finished also the two, you together read, with attention the seven proposals that are reported above.

Step 4 You exchange your lists the one with the other. Say in your taj'rj if the changes in the column: "the changes that I believe O|J should I make" they really need. If they need, you are discussed how these can become. Make sure itself stj you drew how you can help the one the other in your changes eaytoy' that also the two you wish.

Step 5 Afterwards you go to the "changes of companion" and you are shared those that are found in the down part of page. Use again the seven points of previous page in order to you discuss these subjects. Aim you answer in these questions: It is asked allani' fair? It is logic? Even if the two you agree that the change is desirable, how you can work together in order to him you realise?

NOTE: Certain pairs can find the exercise successful, if him they make presence of familial adviser. Also, the moment that you attempt this exercise, should be moment of intensity or neuron, but calm also in scale of collaboration. It is not exercise of resolution of conflict, but activity of constructive relation.

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